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Always start from the beginning

Minime93ireland

569 views

Very few people actually know me.

Sure, 99% of people who have been on the LD server know the name Minime, but very few people actually know Charles Ireland.

If I could go the rest of my life hiding behind a monitor and everyone that knows me in real life only refer to me as Minime, I would be more than happy.

But unfortunately, that's not the way life works, I have to be Charles Ireland, and that's exactly who I've been for 20 years 2 months 22 days and 24 minutes at this moment.

My life has been a ride to say the least.

I guess it's time to open up and let my life out there.

As with all stories, the only place to start is at the beginning.

I was born on February 24, 1993 in Concord, NH to Shawna & Phillip Ireland.

I was named after one of my dad's friends, and that name made my childhood life hell.

Me and my sister were pretty much left to fend for ourselves all our lives, my mom's depression led her to drug abuse and could never take care of us,

My father was away for work Monday-Friday; when he finally came home on weekends, he was either sleeping, drinking, or yelling.

I was terrified of my father, I could never even look him in the eye, but yet my entire life, I've been searching for his approval and acceptance.

The man that I'm terrified of, is the one that most of my decisions are based, I don't understand it, and I don't think I ever will.

The only thing about this that I am certain of, is that I'm wasting my time.

My dad has told me on multiple occasions that I am a disappointment to him and that he thought his son would be worth something.

He constantly yells, and is violent most of the time, I couldn't even try to count the amount of times we've been in minor physical altercations.

But, I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

I said just my name made my childhood hell, and I wasn't lying.

I was not a popular kid to say the least, I was physically and mentally beaten by my classmates every day from kindergarten up until 4th grade.

I never went by Charles, my nickname since I was little was Chuckie, so of course to tease me I was always called Chuckie Cheese, Chuckie finster, etc.

I was little, it always really upset me, made me cry and made me hate myself.

That was the majority of the bullying, but there was one person in particular, Bobby Sweet, who physically beat me every day,

I never knew why, and I never will, all I know is that everyday I had more bruises and scratches, more blood, more tears.

When I made it to 4th grade, I finally snapped at Bobby, I turned it around, and I beat the living hell out of him, and from that day forward, he never bothered me again.

Of course, the mental abuse still went on, cause I didn't have the ability to speak up for myself, I just had to sit there and deal with it.

In the summer before 3rd grade, my father informed us that we were going to be moving away from NH soon, of course just as a finally made a few friends.

We were originally supposed to move to China, needless to say I was terrified.

But then disaster struck, we lost our family's best friend Keith Sullivan.

On December 31, 2000, he was killed in a snowmobiling accident. He went to go under a bridge and had the throttle pinned and realized too late that the bridge was too low.

I can remember the night sitting in the living room when my mom got a call from my dad and she just burst into tears, and without even knowing what happened, things just felt so wrong inside that I burst into tears as well.

She didn't need to tell me what happened, he was such a huge part of our lives, I just knew.

He was the only reason I ever thought my dad loved me, the only time my dad did anything was with me is if Keith came up with the idea.

But he didn't love me, he only did it because Keith was bringing my son and didn't want me to feel left out.

But that was a folly, cause I've known all my life.

After Keith's death, the little relationship I had with my dad ended.

After his death, the move was cancelled, we were no longer moving to China.

In the summer before 5th grade, the move was back on, but this time we were going to Florida so we could at least stay a little closer to home,

But we had to move for my father's better opportunity down here.

So 5th grade year started, and for the first time I actually started making friends, and of course, just a few short weeks later, Florida here we come.

Well...that's my early life in a nutshell, and from this point on, the constant sadness from my father, took a dark turn towards deep depression...but that's for another time.




4 Comments


I was genuinely moved.

Same here.

Honestly, thanks for feeling like you can trust us all, thanks for opening up and sharing this Mini.

I have no idea what it would be like to go through any of that.

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I feel you on the bullying and i shall be following this because it really moved me and i feel like i know you better

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I don't think we have ever formally spoken before so hello nice to meet you Charles Ireland. I'm Mariela. Just wanted to say that, in many ways I understand your beginning for I share a similar one and you may or may not think so but it does take courage to expose this side of you.

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